


like a beam of light

by jaesglasses



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, featuring dowoon bcos i love him, jaebri's love story for 10 years, mostly jae-centric, we goin ✈️✈️ soft for our boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-02 22:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaesglasses/pseuds/jaesglasses
Summary: He looked older, features more prominent, but he was still the same man Jae had loved all those years ago. He was still his Younghyun.Jae beamed at the other; his eyes crinkling and his smile wide.He finally found him."Hi."





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from day6's still
> 
> so basically, the fic is divided into timelines spanning 10 yrs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my take on jaehyungparkian's version of "on your wedding day"

 

**_December, 2018_ **

 

It was raining on the day of the wedding.

 

Jae unconsciously fixes his tie in front of the mirror, focusing on how his hands move ever so slightly, trembling against the silk.

 

The uneasiness he feels is heavy enough that Dowoon notices it immediately. Both men have been pacing back and forth in the small waiting room with gray walls that mirror their current mood.

 

"You've messed around with that tie for the fifth time today. Are you sure you're okay?"

 

Instead of an answer, Jae responds with a question of his own.

 

"Do you think I can do this?"

 

The other just sighs. Jae takes in the bags under his eyes and realizes that Dowoon has been suffering along with him, simply because Jae lets his nervousness get the best of him.

 

He laughs despite himself. "I've never seen you wear a suit until today." He comments offhandedly.

 

"Don't be too mesmerized, I know I look good already." Dowoon laughs, his deep voice filling the room. Jae feels his energy get back up just a little bit.

 

"Thank you, Won." He says, looking at his bestfriend with fond, sincere eyes.

 

"Let's go see him, Jae."

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_August, 2008_ **

 

"Why do you keep undermining your talent, Mr. Park?"

 

His music teacher's words slashed right through Jae's heart; the guilt clutching onto his veins so tight he found it hard to breathe.

 

"I don't want to do music anymore." Jae quietly said. He didn't dare to look at his teacher, too scared that he would recognize the lie seeping through Jae's voice.

 

"I'm not doing this to torture you, Jae," the teacher responded back calmly, his voice firm but understanding. "I just want you to realize that you have so much potential and it's a waste to-"

 

A knock on the door caught both of their attention, temporarily extinguishing the heavy tension that lingered in the air. Jae breathe out a sigh, wanting nothing more than to escape the current situation.

 

He made a move to leave the room, but stopped as soon as he saw the TA enter the room with another student in tow.

 

In that moment, it felt as if time has momentarily stopped, putting significance on a mark in Jae's life.

 

If anyone was to ask Jae a few years into the future if he remembered what he ate that particular day, or how the weather was, he wouldn't remember anything. However, ask him about the boy who has marked his life in so many ways, and Jae will spill the memories like water freely flowing from the river.

 

The first time their eyes met, Jae _fell._ He didn't believe in the love-at-first-sight bullshit, but he knew he'll never be the same after looking into the boy's eyes.

 

His eyes were brown; fox-like, frank, searching, _fearless._ They were what caught Jae's attention the most. He wasn't even looking at him, but Jae felt the fiery gaze carried in the small office.

 

"Excuse me, Mr. Lee. The new student is here." The TA announced, handing the music teacher a folder that Jae guessed were the new student's files. He left as soon as he came, leaving the other student with Jae and his teacher.

 

Said new student bowed. "I'm Kang Younghyun," he said, looking only at the teacher. Jae sensed that 'Younghyun' wasn't much of a social person. "From Seoul."

 

"Yes, as I was told. I'm Mr. Lee, your music teacher. I hope you'll enjoy being in this school." Mr. Lee smiled at him then pointed at Jae. "I think you'll be in the same class as this punk. He's Park Jaehyung."

 

Jae momentarily forgot the crisis he was in and showed what he liked to call his 'best, get-all-the-guys' smile to Younghyun, waving a hand in greeting. "You can just call me Jae, it's fine."

 

Younghyun only nodded his head in recognition and faced the teacher again. Jae felt a bit insulted. However, he ultimately decided against confronting the other like a child throwing a tantrum, as he had a much better idea on how to get to know him.

 

"Since I'll be his classmate, I guess I should take up the responsibility of touring him around campus. Let's go, Younghyun!"

 

Jae grabbed the hand of the other boy, who was caught off-guard and got himself pulled into Jae's personal space.

 

"Wait, we're not done with-"

 

But both the boys were out the door before the teacher could finish talking. Jae didn't look back and kept walking, holding Younghyun by the wrist.

 

Jae almost fell backwards as Younghyun forcefully yanked his hand back. He caught himself on time and stood still for a moment before turning around to face the boy. 

 

"Where are you taking me?" Younghyun asked, voice demanding and dominating. Quite frankly, this scared Jae a little bit.

 

"To our classroom?"

 

The same sour expression remained on Younghyun's face, but Jae caught the anger in his eyes fading slowly and was replaced with something he wasn't sure what.

 

"I can go by myself." Younghyun declared. He shot him a glare and went on his way, leaving a confused but charmed Jae alone in the hallway.

 

Jae laughed. "Okay, fox boy."

 


	2. 2

 

**_September, 2008_ **

 

It wasn't much of a shock, really, to have himself drawn to the other boy. _It's his damn eyes_ , Jae reasoned. Younghyun's eyes held so much yet not enough at the same time.

 

Every time their eyes met, it felt like walking into shallow waters; you know you have to go deeper to see what you want to see.

 

Today had been like any other day since they had met weeks prior; Jae bothering Younghyun, the latter getting annoyed and flipping him off, and Jae promising to stop yet going back after an hour just to talk to him about useless stuff again.

 

Dowoon, Jae's best friend who's a year below them, had wondered about his fascination with the fox-eyed boy.

 

"Is it because he's pretty?" He remembered him asking before.

 

Jae just shrugged, not knowing the answer himself. Dowoon had responded then by calling him a 'clueless virgin.'

 

Jae knew Younghyun was sick of it, but he couldn't find it in him to stop because he enjoyed teasing him, quite more than he cared to admit.

 

"How's our pretty boy doing?" Jae asked, sliding onto the seat next to Younghyun.

 

"Better without you." He responded. Jae just laughed, amused. 

 

"I brought you food!" He continued, uncaring of Younghyun's obvious indifference. "Here, eat."

 

Jae placed the carefully-packed sandwich on Younghyun's table. The fox-eyed student looked up from whatever he was writing on his table (a clear violation of school rules, if Jae might add) and looked at the sandwich, then to Jae.

 

"Why are you doing this?" Younghyun asked, expression bared with nothing, but Jae felt the confusion laced in his voice, almost invisible behind the mask of false anger.

 

"You're cute and I like seeing your face." Jae responded back, smirking.

 

Younghyun stared at him so intensely Jae had to look away, not used to actually having his full attention.

 

"Do you want to go out with me?"

 

The sudden question wiped the smirk off of Jae's face and replaced it with red cheeks. Younghyun had asked him with such innocence and genuine curiosity that Jae briefly wondered if he knew what the question meant.

 

"Uh, I guess I-"

 

Younghyun stood up suddenly and pulled Jae along with him, power-walking outside the classroom and into the hallway, dragging a confused Jae with him.

 

The scene felt familiar, like the first time they met. Today, however, it wasn't Jae who's leading, but Younghyun.

 

"Where are you taking me?" Jae asked. Same question, too.

 

"You're going out with me, aren't you?"

 

Jae gasped dramatically, clutching Younghyun's wrist with the hand the other was holding.

 

"You meant ' _going out_ ' literally?"

 

Younghyun sighed. And though he can't see his face, Jae was sure he also rolled his eyes.

 

"What did you think that meant, stupid."

 

"Well, maybe I would not have misunderstood if you worded it properly, idiot."

 

They were at the gates of the school at that point. Younghyun stopped and turned around to face him.

 

Jae forgot to breathe momentarily. Younghyun was _smiling_ , his fox eyes crinkling with a glint of amusement.

 

"Did you think I was.."

 

He trailed off, but the meaning was clear for the both of them. Jae looked away, his face flushed once again.

 

"For a cute guy, you're pretty dumb."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Somehow, it became their habit. Whenever Younghyun felt like it, they would cut class and go where their feet took them. Sometimes it's on the beach near Jae's house, most times on the small restaurant near their school that sold amazing tteokbokki.

 

It was an unconventional way, but it made them closer. From their favorite color to the name of the pet they wanted to have, Jae and Younghyun shared everything.

 

Jae found out that Younghyun transferred to their school as he wanted to escape the pressure his principal mom was putting him on. In return, Jae shared his worries with him. It was _different_ and _weird,_ but it was good enough for them.

 

Younghyun had a big appetite, and so Jae didn't stop bringing random food for the other. He didn't talk about it, but Younghyun relayed his gratitude by eating whatever he brought, each time with a smile directed at Jae.

 

There were no spoken words, no signed agreeement whatsoever, just mutual understanding that they find it more comfortable being together, rather than being with anyone else.

 

There wasn't any indication of taking things further either, but Jae wanted too. He didn't have the courage to ask Younghyun though, because despite his shameless antics sometimes, he's powerless when it comes to facing his feelings for the other boy.

 

Besides, he wasn't sure what he meant for Younghyun. If he's honest, he's almost too scared to find out.

 

They were hanging out again, platonically sharing a plate of tteokbokki and wasting time by rambling about school, mostly from Jae as Younghyun wasn't only gifted with amazing looks but a smart brain, too.

 

Jae was in the middle of a lecture on student equality and freedom of speech when he was interrupted by Younghyun's sudden question. _(Yet again)_

 

"Why did you stop doing music?"

 

"How did you know about that?" Jae had asked too, taken aback.

 

Younghyun shrugged. "Dowoon."

 

"You talk to each other? Without me?"

 

He nodded, lips forming a playful smile. "He told me you liked me, by the way."

 

"That piece of shit." Jae muttered. His whole face turned red, embarassment evident in his features. He looked away from Younghyun's gaze and concentrated on the drape cloth on their table that looked very interesting all of a sudden.

 

Younghyun laughed. "That's not the point. Why did you stop doing music? I don't remember you ever talking to me about music."

 

Jae sighed. "Because I feel like a failure," he admitted. "I know I can never be as good as other people, so what's the point anymore?"

 

Younghyun hit him on the head with the chopsticks he was using. Jae put his hands on his chest, looking extremely scandalized.

 

"First of all, that was disgusting. Second, what the hell, Younghyun?!"

 

"I knew you were dumb, but I didn't know you were this dumb."

 

Jae was about to say something back, but Younghyun beat him to it.

 

"I've heard you sing before, you know." He revealed, earning a look of genuine shock from Jae.

 

"When you were waiting for me outside the school. I heard you singing then, and not to sound like a fan or anything, but it will be great if I can hear you sing again."

 

Jae laughed. "I don't have the motivation to do that, anymore."

 

Younghyun stared at him, lost in thought for a brief moment. Then he spoke, cool and confident.

 

"I'll be your motivation then."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Younghyun smiled, causing Jae's heart to rebel against his ribcage.

 

"Sing for me."

 

For some unknown reason, nothing else seemed more beautiful and worth it in that moment than the prospect of singing for Younghyun.

 

So of course, in true Jae fashion, he decided to _fuck it._

 

"Sure."

 

 


	3. 3.1

 

_**January, 2009** _

 

"Want to go to my house later?"

 

Jae looked up from his Maths book to gape at Younghyun. They were sharing a table in the classroom, face to face, with Younghyun doodling on it and Jae reading out of boredom.

 

They were used to that; sharing each other's space. It was weird at first, especially as Younghyun tried to play it cool and act unbothered for the first months but he gradually accepted the fact that Jae would always be _there._ He might as well enjoy it.

 

His unexpected reaction prompted a laugh from Younghyun.

 

"Are you serious?" Jae asked, voice still unbelieving.

 

Younghyun hit Jae's head with his pen, something that had become a habit of his from all the time he spent with Jae and his weird acts. 

 

"What's with your reaction?"

 

Jae sat up and shrugged, lips formed into a line. "It's the first time you mentioned it." He closed his book and propped himself up on his elbows to focus on the other.

 

Younghyun ignored the voice in his head that told him how cute Jae looked in the moment.

 

"Do I look like I'm homeless or something?" He asked, disappointed but quite frankly wasn't surprised. He'd stopped putting things past Jae.

 

"It's not that.." Jae started, but then he grinned, as if realizing something. His eyes twinkled with a playful spark that sent shivers down Younghyun's spine.

 

"Though, sometimes, you do look like you haven't showered for three days and--"

 

Younghyun's pen landed on Jae's head again, this time with a little spite. Handsome or not, Jae was a dumbass.

 

"Go die."

 

Jae laughed heartily. He reached out to hold Younghyun's chin, holding his face close to his. Jae silenty congratulated himself on his newfound confidence in flirting with the other before speaking.

 

"It's just a joke, love."

 

Younghyun's face blossomed pink, but his eyes threw daggers at the other's smug face. "Do not call me that."

 

Jae smiled cheekily. It was a nice change to see his friend flustered, as it was always his heart being shaken by him.

 

"What I meant was that you never invited me before."

 

"Well, I don't think I still want to now."

 

Jae tsked, flicking Younghyun's forehead with his finger. The gesture was sweet, something that stirred both their hearts.

 

"Na ah, no takebacks, love. Let's go later."

 

The other sighed, feigned disgust on his face. "I told you to stop cal--"

 

Jae stood up abruptly, then immediately headed for the door. "I'll get some snacks. What do you want?" He grinned, clearly engaged in making Younghyun suffer.

 

"Don't use food to--"

 

The taller just winked at him then walked out.

 

Younghyun shook his head, already too used to Jae's antics. As Jae left, he focused his attention back to his doodle, but he couldn't help a soft smile from forming on his lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The walk to Younghyun's apartment was spent with Jae lecturing the other on how to be a good friend. Apparently, the apartment was located only a few blocks from Jae's parents' house. As he wasn't told this piece of information, Jae took it as a personal attack.

 

"What am I to you? Nobody?" Jae said with an accusatory tone. Okay, _maybe_ he was being overdramatic about the whole thing. 

 

Younghyun just laughed. "It's not that important, stupid."

 

"It is to me."

 

Jae's pouty face just amused Younghyun even more. _You're adorable_ , he wanted to say, but there are things that you should just keep to yourself sometimes.

 

"And why is that?" Younghyun challenged.

 

"Because we have something, goddamnit!"

 

Then Jae looked at him, hope present in his handsome face. "We do, right?" He asked, his voice small compared to his normal dramatic one.

 

"I--"

 

"Younghyun?" A female voice intervened. The mood changed instantly, like fire suddenly getting out of control. 

 

If only Jae knew how painful the heat would be.

 

Both boys turned to the source of the voice. They saw a woman, standing near the gates of the apartment. She was small, maybe in her forties, with a style that suggests luxury; with her black high heels and sleek coat. She was attractive, with a gaze that rivals that of Younghyun, firm yet motherly. Strong yet soft.

 

Jae didn't know who she was. But as he turned to the other, he saw Younghyun's face hardened. 

 

"What are you doing here, Mom?"

 

Jae took a step back, slow realization hitting him head on. _Oh._

 

"Younghyun," The woman said, walking towards their direction. She was smiling, but it seemed forced and _scary._ In turn, Younghyun stepped back, bringing Jae with him.

 

"What are you doing here, Mom?" He asked again, his tone signifying anguish. He was holding Jae's wrist, unconsciously clenching his hand around it. 

 

Jae let out a quiet hiss of pain, but he didn't retract his hand. Younghyun needed him.

 

"I missed you." She said, voice sickeningly sweet but lingered with a taste of something Jae can't quite understand.

 

Not getting anything, she turned her attention to Jae. "Who's this young man?"

 

Much to his dismay, Younghyun released his hand, then. "Please, go."

 

Jae looked at him with an incredelous expression, unwilling to do what he wanted. If he needed him, Jae will stay.

 

His defense faltered, however, when he stared into the other's foxy eyes. The usual spark was replaced with deep-seated pain.

 

"Are you oka--"

 

"Leave, please." Younghyun's voice broke by the end, and Jae felt his breath hitch.

 

He looked at him one last time before turning around and walking away.

 

 _There's time for everything_ , Jae thought. _He'd tell me when he's ready._

They understand each other well, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Younghyun didn't come to school for a week. This greatly confused and worried Jae, but he tried his best to suck it up. He knew that Younghyun was rational and focused. He wouldn't act out of impulse. So even though he wanted very much to visit him, Jae chose to wait for him.

 

The following week came and Jae found Younghyun slumped on his desk, his face devoid of any emotion. It hurt his heart, but he didn't say anything.

 

Jae sat on the chair in front of his friend. He had many questions that needed answers, but Jae stayed quiet. The waiting time wasn't over yet.

 

Two days past with Younghyun determined to exist like a ghost before Jae decided he'd had enough. 

 

It was in the middle of Mr. Lee's class when Jae unceremoniously stood up, his chair falling behind him. 

 

The whole class' attention, except Younghyun's, was on him at that moment. Honestly, Jae was afraid; afraid that he won't be able to cheer him up; afraid that his feelings won't be enough. 

 

He took a deep breath and placed his guitar comfortably into his arms 

 

"What is this about, Mr. Park?"

 

"I'd like to sing a song." Jae announced. He found himself relieved his voice didn't waver. _I can do this,_ he told himself.

 

Silence and confusion, at first, then cheers, courtesy of the class' resident trouble-makers, Jaebum and Jinyoung.

 

"You got this, Jaejae!" Jaebum shouted, holding up a thumbs up. They're not that close, but Jae appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

 

Mr. Lee laughed, amused but relieved that Jae was finally showing interest in Music again, albeit weirdly and out of nowhere.

 

"Okay! Might as well take a break since some of you look sleepy. Let's see what you've got, Mr. Park."

 

Jae nodded at his teacher then started playing his guitar. A sweet melody filled the classroom.

 

He focused his gaze on Younghyun. Then, he sang.

 

" _It was a really hard day today._

_My heart aches for you_

_The only thing I can do for you_

_Is to be next to you, I’m sorry."_

 

Finally, Younghyun turned his attention away from his table to look at Jae, his lonely brown eyes asking a question. " _What are you doing?_ "

 

Jae smiled softly and continued singing.

 

" _You’re so pretty when you smile_

_So every time you lose that smile_

_Even if I have to give my all_

_I want to give it back to you._ "

 

Younghyun smiled back. He felt his eyes burn, but he held the tears back. He wanted to enjoy this moment with Jae.

 

_"I want to cry for you_

_I want to hurt instead of you_

_I don’t want any scars in your heart ever_

_again"_

 

It's an unspoken truth, but now both of them knew what they had all along. 

 

" _When you love someone_

_So much that it overflows_

_It’s so amazing_

_Because this is how it is._ "

 

* * *

 

 

Younghyun left early that day. 

 

Jae didn't mind. For the first time in his life, he was sure of something. He was sure that he had expressed his feelings for the other. He was hopeful for a future with him.

 

All he wanted now was for Younghyun to understand that. 

 

The next day, however, there was no Younghyun, but just a small envelope addressed to Jae.

 

He sat on his friend's chair and opened it. Inside was a letter, with his Younghyun's neat handwriting. 

 

Jae's heart ached. The fire was making its way onto his heart and it _hurts._ Something told him he wouldn't like what's inside.

 

Slowly, he read the letter.

 

" _I didn't want to see your disappointed face again, so I decided to leave early and just write this. Qu_ _ite cliché, isn't it? You know me. I'm a sucker for stuff like this. Honestly, I don't know what to say._

 

_I'm sorry, Jae. I'm sorry._

 

 _That woman we saw that night was my mom. I told you I left Seoul because of her, right? She found me again._ _I don't want to be found, Jae. So I had to leave. I'm sorry._

 

_You're important to me. And what we had is something I would never forget for the rest of my life._

 

_Thank you, Jae. Thank you for being with me._

 

_I don't know how to express my feelings well, but you understand what I'm saying, right?_

  

 _You're a great guy. Please be happy. For me_. _Please forget me._

 

 _You understand me, right? I know you do_."

 

Jae didn't. Nothing about the letter was clear to him, and Jae wanted to say that to Younghyun's face. 

 

_Why did he have to go? Why did he leave without telling him? Was what they had not worthy enough for him to stay?_

He wanted to yell at him and hit him on the head with a pen, just like what Younghyun used to do everytime.

 

But how could he do that anymore? There's no point. 

 

Younghyun was gone. Jae was alone again.

 


	4. 3.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i wrote this in one sitting so im sorry for any misspelled words and incorrect grammar, ill proofread it when i have the time.

 

 

_**Octob**_ **_er, 2018_ **

 

"Do you think she'll come back if you cry like that?"

 

Jae let out a deep sigh, restraining himself from face-palming. As a matured adult, he had the responsibility of giving advice, solicited or not, to young morons and dumbasses. Moreso now that he is a professor.

 

Though, if Jae was honest with himself, he was too inexperienced for that, but nobody needed to know.

 

"It's not the end of the world." Jae continued.

 

His student, Chan, sniffled and fixed his gaze on him, his blood-shot eyes staring right into Jae's dark soul.

 

"Jesus! When's the last time you slept?"

 

"Irrelevant, Prof. And no, she won't come back even if I jump off a cliff right now, but still." The student said as he wiped his tears with the sleeves of his gray hoodie.

 

"Let me drown in my sorrow."

 

Chan laughed as he saw his professor's scrunched-up face.

 

"You disgust me." Jae said.

 

"Aren't you happy that I use the literary prowess I got in your class?"

 

"Not in this context." Jae scoffed, ready to throw his pen at Chan.

 

The other just smiled. Jae felt his heart melt a bit as he looked at him. Chan was one of the students he could genuinely say was his favorite. He was intelligent, responsible, and knew how to take care of other people, more than himself even.

 

Jae was fond of him, as he reminded Jae of Dowoon. Obviously, his father instincts put him at a disadvantage sometimes. Like today.

 

He found Chan crying in their empty classroom earlier; his girlfriend of two months broke up with him, unable to keep up with Chan's workaholic nature and irregular sleeping schedule.

 

Jae briefly regretted staying, but the feeling immediately disappeared as he realized Chan was truly in need of company, being too sad for his own good.

 

"I'll be okay, Prof." He reassured him.

 

 _Classic Chan_ , Jae thought. He had always shown a strong stance if one worries about him.

 

"Of course, you'll be." Jae replied. He walked up to Chan and put one hand on his shoulder. "But it's fine to be sad, that's natural. You loved her, that's why."

 

He gave Chan a small smile. "Ride out the sadness, kid. Don't disregard it."

 

"You were complaining about it a while ago, though."

 

The hand on Chan's shoulder landed on his head as Jae smacked him lightly. "People change, you fool."

 

They looked at each other before laughing heartily. Chan was still sad, surely, but Jae was able to lift up the mood, and for that he was grateful.

 

There was silence for a few minutes, both of them basking in the peace the moment provided. Then, Chan spoke.

 

"Have you ever had your heart broken before?"

 

Jae didn't answer immediately. For a while, Chan thought he had touched a sensitive topic, an apology almost leaving his lips before Jae faced him, a sly smile plasted on his face.

 

"Na ah, no sir. I was an independent man who didn't need anyone. Self love!"

 

Chan rolled his eyes. Jae laughed at that.

 

"I didn't need anyone at all." He added.

 

* * *

 

_**December, 2010** _

 

After his high school graduation, there was a halt in Jae's life. "What now?" was the question that bothered him for weeks.

 

It wasn't an issue before; his parents were too busy to be concerned about his future, so he never really thought about it himself. The realization that his future was entirely on his hands scared him a bit.

 

There wasn't anything particular that he wanted to do. Nothing that could excite and give him a rush as Music did.

 

Of course, Jae was aware of the fact that Music wasn't a convenient route. Unless you become famous, no one can really make enough money off of being a musician.

 

So for years, Jae slacked. He got a job at his uncle's record shop as a cashier, to past time. It wasn't much of a _'job'_ for him, as Jae enjoyed managing the shop on days when his uncle was nowhere to be found.

 

However, at the back of his mind, Jae knew he had to do something for himself, though he just didn't know what that is, at the moment.

 

It was a quiet Tuesday when Dowoon came through the doors of the shop, sauntering to the counter where Jae was, with a wide smile on his face and a paper bag held on his arms.

 

Jae smiled at him fondly. He wouldn't mention it even on his deathbed, but he was a bit jealous of his friend.

 

Dowoon had a goal from day one. Since they were just little kids creating worlds of their own in their local playground, Dowoon had wanted to become a teacher.

 

Jae guessed it was because his mom was a teacher, too. Dowoon was good at taking care of kids; never-ending patience and a smile always reserved for the neighborhood children he sometimes tutored on the weekends.

 

After his graduation, Dowoon announced that he'd leave to study at a University in Seoul. Jae was against the idea at first, unwilling to be left alone again. However, Dowoon won his approval over with a home-cooked meal and a promise to come back to him. Jae hoped he would.

 

"I have news for you!" He said excitedly, as he placed the paper bag on the counter. Jae stared at it then at his friend, a questioning look on his face.

 

Dowoon reached inside the bag and pulled out a magazine with "Dongguk University" printed on the cover.

 

"I'll apply here." He said, then, as he handed the magazine to Jae.

 

Jae took it and aimlessly scanned the paper. He wasn't interested, as a University application wasn't an option for him. He wasn't good at studying; that much was true.

 

Dowoon went into a monologue on how good the University was and how he was excited to study. Jae nodded along with his words, listening intently at his friend's enthusiastic speech.

 

In the middle of scanning the pages, Jae stopped at one particular picture. He moved the magazine closer to his face, his eyes bulging.

 

Jae's heart started beating too fast. Memories flooded his head like stream falling from a waterfall. Years later and _he_ still had that effect on him.

 

It was Kang Younghyun, who was holding a guitar and sporting a huge smile to a crowd. It seemed like he was performing at a school festival.

 

"What the fuck." He mumbled softly.

 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dowoon asked, concerned at the change of mood.

 

Jae showed him the magazine, pointing at the picture. "Have you seen this?" His tone was soft and his eyes were hopeful. _Too_ hopeful for his liking.

 

"Is that Younghyun?" Dowoon exclaimed, taking the magazine from Jae's hands and inspecting it for himself.

 

"It's really him." He confirmed after a while.

 

Jae went silent, only staring at the magazine in Dowoon's hands.

 

His friend tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Are you--"

 

Jae abruptly slammed his hands on the counter, scaring Dowoon. He looked at his friend, gaze strong and determined.

 

Then, Jae smiled. For the first time in a long while, he had something he wanted to do.

 

"Dowoon, let's go to Dongguk University together."

 

* * *

 

Of course, announcing it and actually doing it was vastly different.

 

With his parents' approval, Jae decided to take Education as well. He started to study for the entrance exam with Dowoon.

 

As expected, the years without ever opening a textbook took a toll on him, as he found certain academic concepts hard to grasp.

 

_("Basically, Dalton's atomic theory was the first to completely describe all matter--"_

 

_"Hey, uh, who the fuck is Dalton again?"_

 

_"You studied this in senior year!"_

 

_"Okay, Dowoon. Do I look like I listened to the teacher?")_

 

Thankfully, Dowoon was there to help him through it, spending night after night at Jae's house to review with him and answer his questions.

 

_("So in Venipuncture, we use the median cubital vein and--"_

_"In what?"_

_"I'm fucking tired."_

_"Hey! Don't give up on me!")_

 

When the day of the exam came, Jae felt half-dead. He was partially alive only due to coffee and an apple Dowoon managed to make him eat during the bus ride to the University.

 

Jae gave it the exam his all, nonetheless, hoping that his efforts were enough.

 

* * *

 

 

_**March, 2011** _

 

Sunlight hit Jae's face as he walked to the entrance of Dongguk University.

 

He clasped the strap of his bag with one hand, nervousness slowly winning over him.

 

Despite his determination, there was still that doubt ebbing through his mind, making him feel sick at times. _What if this was all a bad idea?_

 

Jae sighed and tried to let go of his pernicious thoughts. They won't help him at all and he knew that.

 

Where to start: that's what Jae didn't know. He tried to ask around for anyone who might know Younghyun around campus, to no avail. The school didn't want to give him information, either. Did he looked suspicious to them? Jae wasn't sure.

 

For the third day since class officially started, Jae found himself wandering the hallways in the Education building. Frankly, he was losing hope. Now it seemed like he put too much effort into wanting to see someone who actively chose to leave him before.

 

A sweet voice caught his attention, then. Jae stopped on his tracks. He'd recognize that voice anywhere.

 

_"You were 'you'_

_I was 'I'_

_We've been living without_

_Knowing each other"_

 

Jae looked around frantically, trying to find the source of the voice. After a moment, he realized it was coming from the classroom a few steps ahead.

 

" _With a 'Hi'_

_Now, it's you and me_

_It's 'us' now"_

 

Quietly, Jae walked to the door and opened it slowly.

 

Inside was another student, playing his guitar and creating the _warmest_ melody Jae had ever heard in his life. His back was on him, but Jae's heart already knew who he was.

 

Jae cleared his throat to catch his attention. The guy visibly flinched, surprised. Then, he turned to look at Jae.

 

He was wearing a blue hoodie and black pants, his guitar on his arms and his hair looking a bit disheveled, probably from the constant running of his hands through it, but to Jae he looked ethereal.

 

His face was slimmer than before and now had barely visible facial hair, but his eyes were still the same foxy eyes Jae had adored, modest yet intense.

 

He looked older, features more prominent, but he was still the same man Jae had loved all those years ago. He was still _his_ Younghyun.

 

Jae beamed at the other; his eyes crinkling and his smile wide.

 

_He finally found him._

 

"Hi."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are lovely and appreciated :)


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